Teens
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The connection between social media use and well- being differs from teen to teen, highlighting the importance of taking your teen's unique personality into account when guiding their healthy media use behaviors
Thirteen- to eighteen-year-olds are changing how they think, feel, and interact with others. Adolescent bodies undergo rapid physical changes, and many teens begin to pay even greater attention to how they look, often comparing themselves to the body “ideals” they see in media. Teens develop closer friendships and romantic relationships, often using media as ways to strengthen these connections. Despite teens’ healthy drive to distance themselves from family, parents remain their most important influence and must stay involved, helping them navigate their media use, balance their time, and stay healthy.
Protip: Ask to watch your teen’s favorite movie, show, or online streamer with them as an opportunity to get to know them and what they enjoy, better. Remain nonjudgmental while co-viewing, even if it is a video that you would not choose for your teen.
Science says: Teens become more and more independent in their decision making, including choosing what media they consume. Asking to watch shows or play video games with them shows that you respect your teen’s independent choices. Watching together also opens the door for discussion about complex issues like sex, relationships, and substance abuse in ways that are nonjudgmental and show that you care.
Protip: If your teen admits that they have been bullied via text, social media, or another online service, reassure them that you will not take away their phone, device, or video game console. Ensure them that they are safe, and that, together, you will be able to stop the cyberbullying from happening.
Science says: Cyberbullying can lead to negative psychological, behavioral, and academic outcomes, including suicidal thoughts, depression, low self-esteem, social isolation, increased physical fighting, and poor school performance. LGBTQ+ youth in particular are more likely to experience cyberbullying and more likely not to report being bullied online. Teens often do not tell their parents about being cyberbullied as they fear being blamed and having their devices taken away.
Protip: If your teen has problems focusing on their homework or other tasks, encourage them to turn off all screen media, even background media such as music with lyrics or television, until their task is done.
Science says: Teens who “multitask” with multiple screens while doing homework are less likely to retain the information they are trying to learn, more likely to have impulse control issues, and worse working memory. Teens who already have attention issues (such as ADHD) may be more easily distracted from tasks if they are listening to music with lyrics, watching online videos, using social media, or interacting with any screen media.
Protip: Talk to your teen about how they use media and how it makes them feel. Create ground rules together, including how much time to spend on media, what kinds of things are ok to share, and how best to interact with others. Let them know that you will be monitoring their social media accounts from time to time. If you or they are ever disturbed by something online, talk about it directly. If your teen is acting sad or withdrawn, discuss your concerns with a health professional.
Science says: Media, including social media is an important part of many teen’s lives. Intense active use of social media (e.g., sharing and responding to messages) does not necessarily indicate or lead to mental health problems. Problematic use or addictive-like behaviors as well as passive behaviors (e.g., mindless scrolling or watching TV that is of little interest) has been shown to lead to poor mental health outcomes in teens, including increased rates of anxiety and depression. Parents can help teens use media as tools to promote healthy strategies, feel connected, and improve teens’ moods.
Protip: Get to know the music your teen likes and why they enjoy it. This will help them to think critically about the messages in lyrics.
Science says: Listening to music is a great way for teens to regulate moods. Some music is sexist or degrading, some glorifies drug, alcohol, and tobacco use, making them seem risk-free. These lyrics can influence how teens treat each other and themselves.
Protip: Monitor your teen’s media use and talk to them about the ads and online influencers they see. Discuss any unhealthy beauty ideals and behaviors that are shown. Listen to how your teen feels about them, and address how these messages might be affecting them.
Science says: Influencer marketing can greatly affect teens’ attitudes and behaviors regarding nutrition and health. Teen programming often embeds marketing messages about appearance ideals, unhealthy nutrition, and exercise habits that can influence negative body image and harmful behaviors.
Protip: Develop house rules for media use with your teen, and follow them yourself. Encourage healthy behaviors when it comes to screens, including having sit-down media-free meals together and conversations that are free of device-distractions.
Science says: Although your teen is becoming more independent and may not seem interested in how you use media, they are still learning from you and your actions—they still rely on you for consistency, safety, and love.
Protip: Have matter-of-fact, non-judgmental conversations about the risks involved with sharing explicit images or content with others online—even if it is with someone your teen trusts and is in a relationship with. Sexting objectifies and dehumanizes. Teach your teen to respect themselves and others.
Science says: Sexting has been shown to cause teens regrets about oversharing and can lead to cyberbullying, depression, and in some cases, legal consequences.
Protip: Working back from when they must wake up, help your teen set a consistent bedtime and turn off all screens an hour before that. Charge devices outside of bedrooms overnight.
Science says: Adolescence is a stage of rapid physical growth and sleep is when growth occurs. Teens need about 91⁄2 hours of sleep. Using screens right before bed can delay their body’s natural sleep cycle, as media can arouse them and the blue light emitted by screens suppresses melatonin, the sleep hormone. Device alerts and notifications disrupt quality of sleep, affecting their learning.
Protip: Empower your teen to solve media and technology-related problems on their own. Resist the urge to step-in and offer solutions to a difficult situation your child is encountering online. Instead, ask probing questions to help your child solve the problem independently. Discuss how decisions might impact others (positively or negatively) and what the pros and cons or solutions might be.
Science says: Supporting students’ social, emotional, and cognitive development relates positively to traditional measures such as attendance, grades, test scores, graduation rates, college and career readiness, and overall well-being. Teens start to form an individualized personal identity and articulate a set of values that guide their behavior. In addition, thirteen- to eighteen-year-olds form mature relationships with others and move towards emotional independence from parents.
Protip: Know what shows, movies and video games your teen watches and plays, and encourage your child to think critically about violence they see in media. Talk about the hurt and suffering violence causes, as well as alternative, non-violent ways to solve problems. When possible, limit your child’s violent media consumption by encouraging non-violent or less violent options.
Science says: Watching violent media can desensitize teens to violence, making them feel that it is normal or acceptable behavior. Playing a lot of violent video games can increase teens’ aggression, anxiety, and depressive symptoms. Parental monitoring and involvement can reduce teens exposure to violent content and reduce their aggressive behaviors and negative outcomes.
Can media use cause teens to be unhappy with their bodies and contribute to eating disorders?
Here’s what we know about the complicated relationship between media and teen body image:
- Many beauty and lifestyle media contain content focused on how their audience (regardless of gender identity) can “improve” themselves. What teens take away from this content is that they are inadequate– their thighs are too thick, or not muscular enough, etc. Research shows that some teens feel measurably worse about themselves after consuming these media.
- Numerous filters, photo and video editing apps make it easy for teens to alter their appearance. As a result, many teens manipulate their selfies and photos to look more like advertised beauty ideals. Teens are constantly bombarded with this altered reality on social media, and research shows that teens who compare themselves to the images they see online experience low self-esteem and body image issues.
- Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia are driven by a desire to take control of lives that feel out of control. Disordered eating behaviors can be the response to body dissatisfaction, and can be triggered by social media use, particularly when social media focuses on unrealistic beauty ideals.
Talk about the media messages and images your teen consumes, including the images they share of themselves. Encourage your teen to present their authentic (unfiltered) self online, and check in with them and their doctor if you notice any unhealthy or disordered eating behaviors.
How to talk to your teen
Start conversations when you and your child are in good moods (not feeling angry or hurt) and when you're both open to listening. Be sure to say exactly what you mean, encourage your child to take turns talking and listening, and give them your full attention. Let them know that you love them and that you value what they say.
If you see that...
Your teen is spending time on their phone late at night and is having trouble waking up in the morning…
Say this...
“I noticed that mornings are tough. Let’s try a new routine, where we all charge our phones in the kitchen at night, and do something to screen-free to unwind before bed, like taking a bath, writing in a journal, or reading a book.”
If you see that...
You see your teen looking at pornography online…
Say this...
“It’s perfectly natural and ok to want to look at that. But remember that those are real people in the videos and sometimes the people making them aren’t treated very well. Also, what they show you might be really violent and not at all what sex is actually like.”
If you see that...
The music your teen has been listening to lately is mellow and filled with sad, emotional lyrics….
Say this...
“That song you were listening to had some pretty heavy lyrics and made me concerned that you may be feeling down. How are you feeling, and what do you like about that music?”